How can I start this off? I really have tried not to let my personal life effect or interfere with my artistic life. I think that life experiences can surely inspire great work from an artist, not doubt, but it doesn't have to control it. As an artist you have the control of what you want for people to see and not to see. You are showing them your world wether it is a fantasy or the truth.
The reason for this entry is that two nights ago I found out who my real friends are. It sure is funny what real thoughts people have about you when you aren't around (so they think).
One of my closest friends, (I don't plan on mentioning his name because I'm not as dirty as he is) got on facebook and started to express his feelings about my new released music video to my girlfriend. Little did he know that I was sitting right next to her as he was IMing her. He started telling her that he thought that I was mad at him for the opinions he expressed to me about my video. He later expressed his feelings to her about me as an artist as a whole. His comments were and I quote "He is lost", "Arick is all talk", He is not real", "He is not true to himself", and "His inspirations are not his own".
It was kind of embarrassing to see one of my best friends that I have known since 1996 to be down-talking me to my girlfriend, in front of me of all times. To see her almost laughing at him and what he was saying and then questioning me and our friendship, that hurt. Is this what he really thinks about me? And for her to be questioning me as to ask "Is this what your friendship is like?" I was just as shocked as she was. Wow, man.
This IM conversation went on for about an hour and the longer it went on the more I became that much more disappointed in what he was saying. I couldn't believe that this person would even consider calling himself my friend. My definition of a real friend would be somebody that doesn't put you down at all. If you were a REAL friend, you would pull that person to the side and let them know TO THIER FACE and let them know how you feel about them or what they are doing or have done. Not tell other people, especially to the ones that are close to them. How does that make YOU look as a person. I think it makes you look like a coward and a punk. Even if you did pull that person to the side and let them know, that should be the end of it. You don't need to broadcast your opinion to the rest of the world.
Some of the comments that he said about my video was that the styling hurt the video, that the "White boy" was, and I quote "HORRID", the graphics that I do for my job look better than what was in the video, I was being "CHEAP" with the production of the video and that it was no excuse because he shoots in lesser space than me, and the graphics in the background of the performance pieces look like something that was done at the fair. Oh, and he also went on to say that he would get more youtube hits of a video of him pissing than I would for my video. Please, somebody tell me if that doesn't sound like a HATER. How is that supposed help me get better as an artist? I guess if he's not behind the production, it ain't right or can be called art.
He later went on to touch on certain things about my family that has nothing to do with my art. One of the things he went on to say is that I would prefer that my daughter was fat so that when she got older, little boys wouldn't bother her and distract her from her work. Please tell me, why in the hell would I say something like that? I am the one that takes care of my kids and I do it by myself!!!!! He went on to tell my girlfriend that, "Its those fat little girls that end up sucking dick to get attention because they have low of a self-esteem." Where did that come from?!!!!
What I have to say about that is, IF YOU EVER REFER TO MY DAUGHTER SUCKING SOMEBODY'S DICK, I WILL FUCK YOU UP!!!! Don't think I am playing because if I ever see you again, believe me, it will happen!!!
My friend (so called), you need to watch what you say about people, especially the ones that are close to you and have your back. Making other people feel bad about what they are contributing to this world doesn't make you any better than them, it just makes you that much less of a person. I don't ever remember GOD leaving you in charge to say what is and what isn't.
I would like to conclude and say that from now on, until the day that you die, we are enemies. Don't ever call me again, mention my name, or ask my family or girlfriend about me ever again. You brought this on yourself because I have never put you down or made you feel bad about what you were doing with your art. You have been doing this for years and I am finally done listening to your "I'm better than you mentality". You said that I was "LOST". No man, it's you because you just "LOST" one of your closest friends. With that, I say, FUCK YOU and have a poor and unproductive life. How's that for being "REAL"?